In this article, I’m addressing the different linguistic ways you can use to be polite in Finnish. Of course, you can be polite in other ways besides using certain constructions and words. Those are not part of this article!

1. The imperative – Osta kolme, maksa kaksi!

1.2. The imperative can be polite

Despite what is sometimes taught in Finnish classes, the imperative is not necessarily impolite. It’s a neutral, polite way of phrasing instructions. It’s a perfectly polite way to phrase things especially in cases where the person receiving the instruction benefits from following the instructions. There is nothing impolite about, for example, instructions on how to act when there’s an emergency situation (#1). In advertisements (#2), doctor related documents (#3) and recipes (#4) you will also find a lot of imperative forms.

Parents (#1) or teachers (#2) can also address their children with imperatives without a negative interpretation. Among friends, as well, the imperative is usually not seen as impolite (#3). In fact, using another form might sound weird and overly formal.

1.3. Sometimes the imperative is impolite

Sometimes the imperative will be too direct. This is especially the case in situations where the recipient of the order doesn’t benefit from doing as they’re told. In these situations the recipient can be taken aback by the directness of the order.

Here are some impolite examples of the imperative:

2. Teitittely – Olkaa hyvä!

One way to be polite is to use the second person plural of verbs to talk to a single person. Rather than saying sinä, you use te. In many countries, this is the main form you use with people you don’t know or people with a higher status or age than you. In Finnish, it is very common to just say sinä instead.

Using te is a great way to talk to the elderly because it expresses respect. This doesn’t mean the recipient necessarily has to be older than you. Using the te-form is common in situations where you talk to customers. You will find the polite te-form in regular verb conjugation (#1) and in imperative instructions (#2).

Sometimes teitittely can be perceived as impolite. There will be a moment in every Finn’s life where people suddenly start saying te and using the -kaa form of the imperative to address them. This can be seen as a sign that you’re getting old, which can be perceived as a negative thing.

Teitittely can also create some distance between people. Using the te-form with friends would seem very strange. Reserve this form for people you don’t know, especially the elderly.

3. The conditional

The conditional can be recognised by its marker -isi-. Compared to the regular present tense, the conditional makes sentences polite requests. We can combine the conditional with the te-form to make it even more polite when talking to a stranger or an elderly person.

Affirmative sentences can be used to express an implicit wish or request. The lack of an actual question can be construed as polite.

In affirmative second person sentences, the conditional sometimes can have a pleading tone, or sound a little exasperated.

4. Liitepartikkelit – Suljethan oven varovasti

The clitics -pa/-pä, -han/-hän and -s can be added to a phrase to make it more polite. You can check out those separate articles for a more complete picture of these elements.

Most often, the suffix -pa/pä (or -pas/päs) is added to imperative sentences (#1), while -han/hän is added to second person present tense requests (#2) and -ko/kö questions (#3).

5. Imperfect tense – Ja nimi oli?

Amazingly, you can also use the past tense to be polite! This way, you can politely ask someone to remind you of something. The supposition is that you should already know this information. However, it is also used when you do not know the information yet.

6. Sometimes more words = more polite

Adding more words to a question or request can in fact make what you’re saying more polite.

7. Polite words

Finnish doesn’t have a word for please, but it does have a word for “thank you”: kiitos. When added to the end of a phrase requesting something, kiitos takes on the meaning of “please” (#1).

At the end of an order or request, we use “ole hyvä” or “olkaa hyvä” to mean “please” (#2). In these types of sentences, you can also add the word ystävällisesti. However, be aware that ystävällisesti can also be used in a passive-aggressive kind of way.

8. More polite is not always better

While it’s of course good to be polite, little by little you should get the feeling for what level of politeness fits what circumstances. Being too polite can seem insincere or passive-aggressive.

8.1. With friends and family

A simple imperative (Tule tänne!) or a question (Tuletko hetkeksi tänne?) is perfectly fine with friends and family. The use of the suffix -pa/pä is also used with family and friends (Tulepa tänne.) You can use the conditional as well (Tulisitko tänne?) but it can be construed as too polite.

8.2. With older people

If an elderly person is someone you know very well, addressing them as sinä is plenty. If they’re strangers, the plural imperative (Olkaa hyvä ja istukaa tänne) or the second person plural (Haluatteko istua tänne?) can be more appropriate. The conditional is useful if you’re asking them something that they might not necessarily want to do (Istuisitteko hetkeksi?).

8.3. With customers

It’s a good idea to use the conditional and the second person plural when addressing customers (Olisitteko halunnut jotain muuta?). Especially with older customers, the plural imperative is also a good choice (Olkaa hyvä ja istukaa hetkeksi).

As a customer yourself, being super polite can be seen as unusual. It’s very normal to order a drink using “Kahvi, kiitos“. When asking for the check in a restaurant “Lasku, kiitos” is accepted, while something like “May I have the check please?” is unnecessary.

8.4. With teachers or your boss

In Finland, you can generally address your teacher in school and supervisor at work with sinä. Finns are quite informal in situations like this.

8.5. When writing to someone you don’t know

When reporting a leaking faucet to your landlord, writing a complaint to a restaurant or asking for a refund, being polite is preferable. You are asking for something which causes a hassle for the other party. Using the conditional and the second person plural is reasonable (e.g. Haluaisin ilmoittaa… Olisiko mahdollista… Voisitteko tulla katsomaan…).

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